When "busy" Gets in the Way

The semester has been crazy like always. Aarao has been studying hard, and I have been teaching hard. I have also been taking a graduate class at Harding University, the NWA campus, and I have enjoyed it. With the holiday season moving in comes a break for us teachers. I have had some time to pause and breathe. This has given me time to think about the busyness of life, and how it can be so exhausting. I get so frustrated with the fact that I continuously run out of time in the day. So, I am working on this. One of the obvious things to go has been blogging. I highly enjoy documenting life's little trifles through this fun way. So, I'm going to work it into my day more often. Not only do I want to blog more often, but I long to do other things as well.  It just isn't fair to anyone when busy gets in the way.

Accidents

 
I am exceptionally accident prone, and I always have been. I have many memories of my little accidents. Let's take a walk down memory lane:

I'm so excited that it's my birthday. I can't help but run through the kitchen where I slip and knock my ear on the oven. This puts a little damper on my party. My theme song was always "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to."

I'm in ninth grade, and I volunteer to run to the new gym from the old gym where basketball practice is being held. I really just want to see how fast I can get back. Before I know it I have fallen over nothing and gashed my knee and hand open. I guess I shouldn't have been running like the wind after all. I just hope nobody was looking out the window and saw me!

I'm chatting with a new found friend as a Freshman in college. I guess I'm not paying attention when that first brick step suddenly appears in the stairwell. Down I tumble doing a complete flip with backpack and all! Two days later I'm walking across campus and a young man says, "hey, you're that girl that fell!"

Yes, I am the girl that fell. I am still the girl that fell and falls! I have taken numerous tumbles in my life, and I'm sure I will continue to do so. I don't think I put much thought into this small aspect of my life. That is until I met my husband. When we first met I couldn’t help but notice his subtle head shakes when I would fall down the stairs, scratch my arm on a chair, and drop things out of my bag while walking on the beach.

I must say that he doesn't just shake his head at me anymore. My husband is quite vocal when it comes to my accidents. I have gotten all sorts of comments ranging from "don't run on the stairs" to "I really don't think you should walk while carrying babies." It really angers him when I hurt myself with my little accidents.

This brings me to my latest story. I came home from work and got to work on dinner. I prepared a nice little pasta dinner and sat down with my dear husband to eat. A few minutes into the meal I feel a sudden burst of cold on my legs, and I hear Aarão start to grumble at me. What he hadn't realized is that he had actually knocked his cold tea in my lap. He stopped himself from complaining, because he realized he was the one that spilled the tea. It's interesting when the table turns.

Hopefully I showed my dearest how to react when accidents occur. I've become so used to these little life mishaps that I don't give much of a reaction. I mean come on; I'm sitting here as I type with a huge bruise on my leg from hitting the corner of a table not once but twice in a matter of five minutes. I have learned to put things in perspective. Little accidents really don’t require huge reactions.

Putting little accidents in perspective isn’t all of the story. I’m working on perspective in all parts of my life. With the start of school right around the corner, it is important to keep this in focus. Life is full of little accidents, mishaps, and annoyances. If we all learned to react less and put things in perspective, we would all be much happier and much more relaxed. So, here is to falling, getting up, and laughing about!

Beauty and the "Beast"

The Cabral Fest is a family reunion that we attend every year. It is the only party that I attend that begins at 9 pm. This is late for an ole’ country girl like me! I don’t know if I will ever get used to parties that begin at this time.  Dinner is served at around 12:30 in the morning! I probably will never get used to the loud Brazilian music that comes with this party either! However, it is wonderful to see such a huge family get together to talk, dance, and enjoy each other’s company.

Cabral Fest 2011

 Now, from past experience, I know that I must pack a nice dress and shoes for this party. I go through the same ritual every year to get ready. Makeup and hair are prepared and the dress is ironed and put on with the final touch of some kind of jewelry. This year was no different. So, I am ready and feeling quite pretty, I must say, when the blow comes!

I walk my stylish, high heels into the living room to leave with my husband. I’m feeling good and confident! This is when the comment comes. This is the comment that no girl wants to hear! “Hmmm, she has gained some weight, hasn’t she?” I hear one word in slow motion, “gordinha.”  If this isn’t enough, the comment is repeated. “She has gained some weight hasn’t she?” “Gordinha, Gordinha, Gordinha.” The word echoes in my head. I turn toward my husband’s blank expression. “What is she saying?” I ask. He doesn’t respond, but I don’t need a response. If there is one word in Portuguese that I will understand in this context it is this!

I slowly walk out of the door and repeatedly ask my husband the same question. “What did she say?”
“Well,” he stumbles for the right answer. “You have gotten a little bigger,” he says. I have nothing to say in response. I just look down and my shoulders droop. My confidence balloon pops in an instant!

This is a dramatized version of an actual event that happened to me last Friday night, and this is the event that inspired me to ponder the concept of “beauty” on a deeper level.

My mother has always said to me, “pretty is as pretty does.” I grew up hearing this all of the time, especially when I was being “ugly.” However,  did I really believe this? I know that I didn’t always live by this rule. Or should I say, I have been “ugly” on many occasions in my life. I do think that this is a grand rule; however, I have come to the harsh realization that the societies we live in don’t necessarily follow rules.

There are beauty icons in both cultures that I have been a part of. I never hear anything about how they act in their daily lives, and this doesn’t affect the fact that they are viewed as being beautiful.  People are viewed as being beautiful because of their physical appearances alone according to the media, Hollywood, and many people like myself. The harsh reality about this is that many people spend a large amount of their time trying to live up to unrealistic expectations. This “beast” can drive both men and woman to an unhealthy obsession with outward appearance.

I know that the “beast” has affected me in many ways, but the one I will focus in on is the issue with my physical size. Yes, I have gained weight since I got married. I am openly admitting it to the world. Not that I needed to. It is quite obvious.  Do I feel that this is a topic that anyone needs to comment on? No. However, it is the truth. Is this a bad thing? Yes, in the world’s eyes, it is. However, it really isn’t all that bad to me (I‘m trying to believe). The times in my life that  I have been a little “gordinha” have been the times that I have been enjoying life and feeling happy. So, judging from my size, I have a happy marriage and I am enjoying it.

I am not at all excusing the fact that my health is very important. Anyone that knows me knows that I am trying to live a healthy lifestyle. However, it is time to  walk tall with my head high no matter who says that I am a little “gordinha.” My focus should not be on my physical appearance. Instead it should be on my inner appearance.  I want to be kind and loving to everyone I meet. I want to be beautiful in ways that matter. I want to be happy and confident no matter what I am wearing, how high my heels are, the shade of my lipstick , or the shape that I am. So, “pretty is as pretty does.” Amen!

Speak Slower

My students are always interested in my personal life. I don’t know if they are interested in me, or if they are just extremely uninterested in what I am teaching! I was telling the story of how Aarão and I met to some of my students about three years ago. It was during the seminar hour, and they didn’t have homework. So, I wasn’t infringing on precious time for improving their acting and speaking skills! The part of the story that jumped out at these dear students was “speak slower.”

The first time I met Aarão was at the Comunidade de Cristo church in Natal, Brazil. He walked in one evening asking about the free English classes that he saw advertised at his English school. He was wearing a Cavalier’s jersey and jean shorts. Is that an unneeded detail? Yes, but it is a fun tidbit. Our friend, Sergio, also known as Bob, set Aarão up to have lessons with me.

I began the lesson by telling Aarão that he would need to buy a book, and then I asked him many questions about himself. Evidently my rate of speaking was much too fast, because one of the first things he ever said to me was, “speak slower, please.” Language has been a major factor in our relationship ever since.

Now, of course this is an obvious factor in our relationship seeing that he was raised in Brazil speaking Portuguese, and I was raised in the U.S. speaking English. It has been a factor and a challenge at times, but my genius husband has been amazing about adopting the English language. He has been hugely successful in adapting to any language barrier he has come across, and I am exceptionally impressed with this. I cannot imagine studying Computer Science in the English language let alone a foreign language!

I, on the other hand, have not been so successful with my Portuguese endeavors. I have tried computer programs, books, and audio lessons. My most unsuccessful attempts, however, have to do with my dear husband trying to teach me. He has little patience for my linguistic ignorance. The conversation usually goes a little something like this.

Anna: How about you replace English words with Portuguese words that you know that I know?

Aarão: (silence)

Anna: O que você está fazendo? (What are you doing?)

Aarão: (sigh) Você pode ver que eu estou dirigindo. ( You can see that I am driving.)

Anna: (silence - obviously trying to understand at least one word.) O que? (what)

Aarão: (sigh)

End of Conversation. Literally.

This is a typical conversation that occurs between the two of us, but there are many variations. Some even involve my sweet husband breaking out in hysterical laughter at my absurd, spoken Portuguese.

Regardless of my past failure. I WILL PREVAIL! I am not going to give up on this journey! I met with a Portuguese teacher yesterday. She is going to teach me Portuguese in exchange for English lessons.. I am excited and anxious to get started. The goal is to get me to a basic conversation level, so that Aarão and I can speak Portuguese together regularly.

The journey began for us with language as the focus, and it continues on in that direction. I am sure I will be the one saying “fala mais devagar, por favor (speak slower, please)” on a regular basis now, and I am ready to say it!

The students who were drawn to this particular aspect of our story promised to write a theatrical production about us called “Speak Slower.” An original orchestration was also supposed to be in the works! I am still waiting for the production, and while I wait I will continue to “speak slower.” However, now it will be in Portuguese!

Third Anniversary: A Time for Celebration or Babies

Aarão and I celebrated our third anniversary yesterday with a relaxing time at the beach with the cousins and a quiet dinner together of delicious Brazilian food. Many people offered their pleasantries and good wishes for more happy years as a married couple. The most humorous comments were about having children. “It’s been three years already! It’s time for babies.” “Now, when will the babies come?”

I am not surprised by these comments. Aarão’s paternal grandmother birthed around 26 children. She for sure started before the ripe old age of 25!

I really don’t mind questions and comments about our lack of starting a little family. I enjoy talking about the prospect! I have many moments in the presence of sweet little ones where I gaze lovingly at my sweet husband and say, “oh, don’t you want one of those.” I don’t deny it! However, I am enjoying spending our time together. We are having fun and enjoying the early years of marriage getting to know one another better, going on little adventures, and dreaming about the future we have together. What does that future hold? It may include children, but it definitely includes each other.

Fun in Flight

I previously mentioned the mood Aarão has when we fly. He hates to fly! Every year I take pictures of him to show this. We have a good laugh at his facial expressions after the fact. We definitely do not laugh while the pictures are being taken!

2011 - Back to Brazil

We arrived safely! This travel experience was more positive than previous years. We had few connections, and I have learned from past experience to travel better with Aarão. I take the traveling from the USA to Brazil as an adventure. However, Aarão does not look at traveling on an airplane as an adventure, and his mood depicts his attitude. I have learned to accept this and to let it be.
I am looking forward to a wonderful experience yet again. I am going to focus on learning Portuguese and connecting with this side of the family more. I will keep everyone updated through this blog. Enjoy!