Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Cabral Fest is a family reunion that we attend every year. It is the only party that I attend that begins at 9 pm. This is late for an ole’ country girl like me! I don’t know if I will ever get used to parties that begin at this time.  Dinner is served at around 12:30 in the morning! I probably will never get used to the loud Brazilian music that comes with this party either! However, it is wonderful to see such a huge family get together to talk, dance, and enjoy each other’s company.

Cabral Fest 2011
 Now, from past experience, I know that I must pack a nice dress and shoes for this party. I go through the same ritual every year to get ready. Makeup and hair are prepared and the dress is ironed and put on with the final touch of some kind of jewelry. This year was no different. So, I am ready and feeling quite pretty, I must say, when the blow comes!

I walk my stylish, high heels into the living room to leave with my husband. I’m feeling good and confident! This is when the comment comes. This is the comment that no girl wants to hear! “Hmmm, she has gained some weight, hasn’t she?” I hear one word in slow motion, “gordinha.”  If this isn’t enough, the comment is repeated. “She has gained some weight hasn’t she?” “Gordinha, Gordinha, Gordinha.” The word echoes in my head. I turn toward my husband’s blank expression. “What is she saying?” I ask. He doesn’t respond, but I don’t need a response. If there is one word in Portuguese that I will understand in this context it is this!

I slowly walk out of the door and repeatedly ask my husband the same question. “What did she say?”
“Well,” he stumbles for the right answer. “You have gotten a little bigger,” he says. I have nothing to say in response. I just look down and my shoulders droop. My confidence balloon pops in an instant!

This is a dramatized version of an actual event that happened to me last Friday night, and this is the event that inspired me to ponder the concept of “beauty” on a deeper level.

My mother has always said to me, “pretty is as pretty does.” I grew up hearing this all of the time, especially when I was being “ugly.” However,  did I really believe this? I know that I didn’t always live by this rule. Or should I say, I have been “ugly” on many occasions in my life. I do think that this is a grand rule; however, I have come to the harsh realization that the societies we live in don’t necessarily follow rules.

There are beauty icons in both cultures that I have been a part of. I never hear anything about how they act in their daily lives, and this doesn’t affect the fact that they are viewed as being beautiful.  People are viewed as being beautiful because of their physical appearances alone according to the media, Hollywood, and many people like myself. The harsh reality about this is that many people spend a large amount of their time trying to live up to unrealistic expectations. This “beast” can drive both men and woman to an unhealthy obsession with outward appearance.

I know that the “beast” has affected me in many ways, but the one I will focus in on is the issue with my physical size. Yes, I have gained weight since I got married. I am openly admitting it to the world. Not that I needed to. It is quite obvious.  Do I feel that this is a topic that anyone needs to comment on? No. However, it is the truth. Is this a bad thing? Yes, in the world’s eyes, it is. However, it really isn’t all that bad to me (I‘m trying to believe). The times in my life that  I have been a little “gordinha” have been the times that I have been enjoying life and feeling happy. So, judging from my size, I have a happy marriage and I am enjoying it.

I am not at all excusing the fact that my health is very important. Anyone that knows me knows that I am trying to live a healthy lifestyle. However, it is time to  walk tall with my head high no matter who says that I am a little “gordinha.” My focus should not be on my physical appearance. Instead it should be on my inner appearance.  I want to be kind and loving to everyone I meet. I want to be beautiful in ways that matter. I want to be happy and confident no matter what I am wearing, how high my heels are, the shade of my lipstick , or the shape that I am. So, “pretty is as pretty does.” Amen!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I loved this! I've gained weight since getting married too, but I could definitely identify with your thoughts about gaining weight when you're enjoying life more. I think I know which one I'd pick if I had to choose between a beautiful body and a beautiful heart.

Cyndi said...

Gorgeous is as gorgeous does. And woman...you are gorgeous. Thank you for this post. I love you so much!

~Pam said...

My Beautiful "Annie"!!!
I have always tried to encourage you by complimenting you on your beauty both outwardly and inwardly. You are a precious gift from the Lord to our lives. You reflect His beauty and grace in ways unknown to many others. What could be more beautiful than the reflection of the One who creates beauty? And that you do . . . you reflect His love through the sweetness, tenderness, and warmness that you give to each of us who know and love you so much. So, my beautiful Niece - continue to love and enjoy the life that you have been so wonderfully blessed with. And, I will continue to thank the Lord sharing your beautiful life with me.
I love you, Sweetheart!
~Aunt Pam

Anonymous said...

Ana, vou escrever em português e você pede para Aarão traduzir, ok! Bem, percebi você diferente naquela noite, mas preferi ficar na minha, rsrs. E ao visitar seu blog vi este desabafo, rsrs. Olhaestou li a pouco tempo um livro muito bom que fala A mulher moderna, à moda antiga, e uma das coisas que ela dizia era se felicidade fosse ser bonita, tantas atrizes, cantoras e pessoas tão famosas não eram tão tristes. E assim cada um tem a concepção do que é bonito por causa da mídia, o que ela diz é o que o povo tem que aceitar. Mas nós como servas de Deus sabemos que o bonito é ser uma adoradora e temente do Senhor Jesus Cristo, isto nos levará ao céu. E você Ana, é linda, meu primo foi muitíssimo abençoado ao te conhecer. Você passa paz as pessoas e seu jeito meigo de ser, educada, simpática mostra que você tem qualidades que poucas mulheres possuem, como diz na palavra de Deus, Mulher virtuosa quem achará?O seu valor muito excede o de finas joias. (Pv 31;10) Gostei muito do que você postou. Você é uma benção do Senhor.
Deus te abençõe e abençõe muito seu casamento!
Thaize

Ana Gouveia said...

Sweet Anna! I haven't read this post until this moment.

I wasn't by your side at that instant but I was told about it later and I got sad with the statement that my grandmother pronounced that night. However, I also got sad with the result that my grandmother's statement caused on you.

First of all, she is an octogenarian woman... It's true that she is sound but it doens't work as well as in the youth... =P Furthermore, at that moment you forgot how precious you are! Otherwise, you woldn't have felt bad to hear that inapropriate comment.

My family and I do believe that you are a God's blessing. It's because you are a wonderful wife and woman for my brother!

We know it! And It is all what really matter. It's true that my mother is worried about weight but It's because we saw my father shaking because of clogged veins. It doesn't have relation with the appearence...

Yes! I know! She got a bit neurotic and most of time bothers us with this issue... However, all this is careful.

In conclusion, I'd like to say that if you continue being this sweet person, kind, generous, honest, truthful, loving, good-natured, excelent cook, workwoman (you see that this is a big list =P), sincere, inspiring..., we continue loving you!

"Pretty is as pretty does."
* Sorry my mistakes...

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